


Between us

by baalsdungeon



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Judar is ace, M/M, sort-of-confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:47:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25533085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baalsdungeon/pseuds/baalsdungeon
Summary: Judar wants to tell Hakuryuu something nobody knows, and nothing changes after, yet everything does.
Relationships: Judal | Judar/Ren Hakuryuu
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Between us

Once again Hakuryuu found Judar entering his room without knocking, this time without any obvious intent since the night had begun just some time ago, and the prince had gotten ready to sleep. He tried to ignore the magi as best as he could, surely the other wanted to bug him with his ideas of dungeon conquering before leaving for Balbadd, for whatever reason he had to go there. It didn't matter, he would leave soon. 

Despite neither of them saying anything, Judar sat down on his bed, and Hakuryuu felt the magi's eyes on him. He wanted to tell him to leave, but-

"I don't wanna have sex with you." 

Hakuryuu raised an eyebrow, which Judar probably couldn't see in the dim light. "Yeah, thanks for telling me? I'm not trying to, as you can see. I'm trying to sleep. Goodnight, Judar." 

The magi let out a frustrated sigh, grabbing the bedsheets at Hakuryuus feet. "Hey, listen to me! You don't understand, I just- it's not only you, it's anyone! I don't like them touching me, I'm not even touching myself, I don't need to. I just don't like it." His voice got a bit more silent as he spoke, almost whispering the last part. But it still sounded urgent, Judar was clearly upset. 

Despite how tired Hakuryuu still was, he got up slightly to listen. There was a small fear of him Judar might be telling him because somebody might have tried to force himself on the magi, but he didn't dare to bring that up directly.

"Did something happen?" he finally asked, rubbing his eyes. Judar never told him personal things, they might as well be complete strangers despite living in the same environment for years. But ever since knowing him, Judar was especially quiet about himself. Hakuryuu assumed that he was simply someone who tried to handle everything himself, isolating from everything. 

Maybe being in Al Thamen, that was the closest thing Judar had to freedom, his own thoughts. Or he simply had nobody he could talk to. Hakuryuu hated how concerned he was, that he had thought about Judar being robbed of his freedom. He couldn't trust the magi, he shouldn't be talking to him! Judar might as well be the most dangerous person to him. If he tried to kill Gyokuen, surely Judar wouldn't waste a second and- 

"I felt like I could tell you, that's all." Saying as it was the most natural thing in the world despite their positions and relationship, Judar didn't even think about his answers. "You're going to be my king-" 

"I'm not."

"And I like you. Do you mind?" What was he asking? Hakuryuu felt so confused! It was quite the surprise to him that Judar had no sexual intentions with anybody because of his behavior, but maybe he shouldn't judge people on that in the first place. He wondered why Judar was telling him this. Why did he tell _him_? Not anyone else? Not...not...? Was there anyone? Was there a person someone like Judar could trust enough to tell such things?

His mind was racing with thoughts. He should be telling Judar to leave him alone. He should be cautious that might be a trick or a lie. He didn't like that tiny bit of a thought Judar asked if he was ok with that because he liked, really liked Hakuryuu. How could the magi romantically be interested in him? The thought was ridiculous! They wouldn't even be friends, there was an invisible line between them, like a border he couldn't cross to reach out to Judar. Because he was Al Thamen himself. Everything he did, he represented, was the organization. Hakuryuu didn't want to hear that Judar was a person with feelings like loneliness and vulnerability! He NEEDED Judar to stay that symbol of destruction.

So yes, he did mind. But he didn't mind if Judar had sex or not, if he liked it or not. If Judar felt close to him in any way, this wasn't what was between them. It was something else, and Hakuryuu knew Judar understood that as well. "I don't mind," he stated, watching Judar's silhouette fade as the night grew darker, as he also understood how impossible all of this was. Why did Judar speak up of he knew all of that? "You don't like being touched? Not at all?" Hakuryuu couldn't help but feel curious, despite his mind screaming to not ask any further. 

"Some things yes, some no."

"Do you mind if I touched your arm? Like that?" Hakuryuu reached out, not knowing Judar's exact position, but felt something. It was his face, but the magi didn't move from his touch. Judar cupped his hand with his own, pressing it to his cheek. Hakuryuu wondered what expression he had right now, staying silent. 

"I don't. This is quite nice," Judar stated, then both didn't say anymore. Maybe a few minutes passed like this, until Judar finally got up without a word, leaving Hakuryuu alone. 

The next day they met in the hallway, they were back to being strangers. Yet, something was different. Hakuryuu knew something nobody else did. It felt- quite strange.

\----

It wasn't until years later that Hakuryuu would mention that incident again. He did not doubt Judar's feelings anymore. Why he wanted to let Hakuryuu know. Judar had always understood him. More than anyone else ever had. And despite everything, even more than himself. Hakuryuu had tried to lie to himself, creating a reason to justify his revenge, his way, his trying to fill the void and emptiness with violence after his mother was dead. Judar had known. And he had tried to let Hakuryuu know about himself as well.

Maybe it was his own way to tell he was in love. No, they were so close, it was more than that. And now Hakuryuu no longer had anything that held him from reaching out to Judar more and more. There was no reason for them to sleep together, no reason for sexual relief, they never needed that. 

Hakuryuu could be vulnerable around Judar, and the other could do the same. They could find comfort in each other, and understanding. As Hakuryuu reached Judar's home village, he didn't ask for permission to touch. He didn't need to know he could do that. Finally, after all their years apart, Hakuryuu could give his true answer.

"I don't mind at all." 

Judar stared in confusion, breaking their hug. "What do you mean?!"

Hakuryuu smiled. A real, honest smile. "You know what I mean. Can I still kiss you?" The other nodded.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a random idea, written on notepad on my phone in the middle of night. 
> 
> I don't headcanon Judar as ace, but he could be, really. I love the thought that Judar might open up to Hakuryuu over these kind of things. :)


End file.
